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Post by Carmen. Downs. on Dec 28, 2007 20:41:17 GMT -5
the turning point has yet to come;;;
follow me now;;;
forever young;;;
Gently tugging at her black To Write Love On Her Arms hoodie Carmen started down the path of the park. She had always enjoyed going to the park as a kid and of course it was always a good place to relax. Well, most of the time it was. She needed to clear her mind. She was starting to have withdraws from her friends in different places and she dearly wanted to go back. At the time she only knew Autumn here. Autumn was a nice girl, but she had only known her for a little while. She needed to be with her friends that she had gotten close to. Slowly she dried a tear that was beginning to fall with her sleeve. That was the last thing she needed; to be seen in the park crying. Oh, life and its crazy moments of depression. She hated them with a burning passion. Everything was so unruly now. Most everything was slipping out of proportion in her life and she felt as if she was free falling into space. It wasn't a good feeling. It wasn't a good feeling at all.
The wind hit her face and it seemed to dry it out. She hated wind. It always made everything so much colder and so much more unbearable. Though, she liked winter because everything seemed so much more peaceful and calm. Her hair would end up knotted though. The wind always did that no matter what. Even if you had short hair it would tangle it into a big unfix able mess. Carmen found that she had wandered onto the playground next to a small pond or something. There were a few ducks of some sort in the pond. Her steps slowed as she came to a little bench and sat down. The bench had a view of the playground and a view of the pond. There were only two kids on the playground at the time. Probably because it was so chilly out and the parents didn't want for them to get sick. Why was she even out then? She could get sick just as well as any little kid. At times she didn't understand her brain. It was always so confusing. Most people didn't understand her either which made it even harder and more confusing. Life was confusing though and it was just meant to be that way. No one can change that. Not even the bravest, or most influential person.
Pulling her hair around her ears to try to keep them warm she pulled up her hood. Carmen fingered the Zune in her pocket and pulled out the ear buds. Carefully placing them in her ears she turned on the Zune and put her songs on shuffle. She began to tap her hand on her jeans to the beat of "The Last Night" by Skillet. She loved this song. It described her perfectly. Most of all it was a song dedicated to her by one of her first loves. That boy was still a good friend of hers, but he just wasn't the same anymore. He tended to look down on her a lot and that killed her to say the least. She wondered how many people thought she was a freak. Here she was sitting on a park bench alone with a blank expression on her face in the middle of the winter. The middle of the winter in Seattle for crying out loud. How stranger could she get. It was pathetic how strange she was already. Skipping towns constantly. Not being able to make friends well anymore, but sleeping with people she hardly knew. It wasn't like the girl her grandfather had wanted her to be. She was nothing like that anymore. Carmen began thinking about if she was a disappointment to him. If she was him she would see herself as one. Though, her grandfather was a kind man. He probably didn't, but instead was disappointed with her actions. Shew as even disappointed with some of them. Then again she didn't regret them either which was always a good thing. Well, most of the time it was at least.
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